♡♥~ BRAIN VIOLATION // 感脳侵食 !!!~♥♡

xkrystlemeth @ 2009-10-22T18:23:00

2009-10-22T22:24:35Z

deusexsomnium

is my new livejournal.
i'll be deleting this one soon.

Bad day, happy ending.

2009-06-25T02:33:37Z

This morning, I got to work is a super red, irritated eye and I suspected pink eye - thankfully that wasn't the case. However I got a headache and cramps and was starting to feel really lightheaded and delirious at work. Then I got "the call"... my car is done for. It needs $2000 of work which is equal to or more than the car's value itself. I was pretty devastated. I got into worrying about finances, work, school, etc and literally almost went into a panic attack at work and I had to step outside for air. I ended up going home early and sleeping most of the day, and taking prescription painkillers which barely helped my headache. I couldn't figure out what the fuck was wrong so I took a pregnancy test which obviously came out negative. So... after sitting around and sleeping some more my parents urged me to come out and test drive some cars. I really didn't feel up to it but I got ready anyway. Aaaaand then I threw up. A lot. Aaaand then I went to test drive cars and I don't feel like explaining the whole ordeal but I like the Civic a lot. I can't say I'm "IN LOVE" with the car because honestly... I'm still in love with my Celica. Toyota stopped manufacturing all sports cars and the dealership near me doesn't even sell used ones anymore, which broke my heart, but whatever... I'm getting a new fucking car. I'd be a total idiot to complain.

I have to pay the car note though. ToT Yeah... I'm not THAT spoiled, guys. Haha.

Let me express my gratitude.

2009-06-10T01:31:04Z

I just got a big TV for my room.
Kevin landed a position back at his old job.
I landed a summer school position working through July.
My two besties are coming to Arlington. (Stephen is visiting for 2 weeks before he moves to Washington state, and Chrissy is moving here for a few months.)
My credit card is almost paid off.
I'm going back to school soon.
I beat depression.
I almost have beaten those horrid migraines.

I'm just feeling like finally, things are going my way. I've been waiting for things to settle down. I'll have a good summer this year... definitely.

I'm going to start planning my tattoo as well. I have the first one planned out, but it's way too expensive to get. So I'll get a second one for now. And not something "cool looking" or OMGZ ANIMUUUUUU! but something with a bit of meaning.

yesss

2009-05-16T14:45:46Z

I feel a lot better today. My three day headache-progressing-to-migraine is finally gone. It was insanely difficult to get to sleep last night because the pain in my head was unbearable and I wouldn't have been able to get rid of it without ODing on my prescription painkillers, so I toughed it out and finally, somehow, got to sleep. I hate migraines. Not only are they immensely painful and make you sensitive to everything, they come with mood swings like no tomorrow. I felt like such shit yesterday and I wanted to cry, scream, and jump into traffic all at the same time. But now I'm fine... considering going back on my daily Topamax but I really, really don't want to deal with the side effects. We'll see.

Today I'm getting rid of a TON of old clothing. Only things I don't wear that I'll be saving are the rare items and the memories - old DBZ t-shirts that I know are probably near impossible to find anywhere, and things like that. And things I know my mom will want for memories - my baby clothes, my Potomac Tennis Team uniform, things like that.

Tonight... I might go shopping, might not, I don't know. I shouldn't blow my money yet since I still am due to buy a new phone next week (I'm excited!!) but I think I'll be alright spoiling myself. Besides, I might not even succeed - last time I went to the mall on a spending spree, I came home empty-handed because the mall fucking sucks now. I don't want to resort to shopping online though. The way my ass fits everything, I'll be sending stuff back left and right.

This new body oil I got makes my skin feel and smell so GOOD I just want to sniff and touch myself all day XD

OHAIIIII

2009-04-30T00:24:39Z

It's been... semi-busy? Just work, cleaning, work, chores, work, random stuff, work, WoW... haha. And I've been working out every day. I feel really sore but really good at the same time; I have more energy and my muscle are getting all toned. I look pretty sexy but I'm gonna keep going every day until summer. This is my tired face:

Yeahhh. You know what's awesome? I'm working out, losing weight, getting in shape - and my tits aren't shrinking one bit. YESSS! They're almost fucking C cups now, I have no idea what I did but I got like a booby growth spurt and they're exploding out of my bras and shirts.

OH. I found this awesome logon screen for XP the other day:

FUCK YEAH AKFGAKDK. Now I can be connected to WoW... ALL the time... *shudder*

Long time no see.

2009-04-22T03:32:01Z

It feels like it's been a while since I wrote. It probably hasn't even been that long. Just work, home, nap, games, food, occasional workout, bed, and repeat. But hopefully, something exciting will be happening in the near future that will change that! But I won't say anything about that for now... it's still a ways away.

Secrets of Ulduar looks great. Thanks to the new patch, I've been re-inspired to play WoW! So yeah... back to hardcore leveling, and of course random PVP battles around Northrend. Oh and t8 looks fucking sexy, finally some gear that I actually like!

I was interviewed by Kate (dearnova on youtube) for her new and upcoming series on indulging your inner dork. She interviewed me (and Kevin) about the xbox experience! Fuuuun. That'll be up on Youtube in a few weeks or so. I hope I look good.

WARM WEATHER IS HERE JFHGLKFDDK YEY

HAPPINESS IN A LUNCH BAWX

2009-04-07T01:58:45Z

These were my submissions to Jinx. You all know how you can submit photos of yourself wearing their merchandise and blah blah.

Yeah you know Murloco's Tacos is the best shirt everrrrr
But anyway, on to more important stuff LOOK DOWN THERE OMGZ LOOK

YEAH UH XBOX TIME
BYE

You know what spring means...

2009-04-05T16:29:13Z

IT'S THAT TIME AGAIN.

prose

2009-04-03T03:09:03Z

Some days like this, where the sun just isn't warm enough and the sky just isn't cloudy enough, and the rain falls in drops so thin and cold that it feels like a thousand needles piercing you to the bone, I feel like writing, just like this. I feel like pressing myself against the grain of paper until I fall inside and I have to climb my way out by writing, by wrapping my limbs around every word and letter and curve of a "j" and dip of a "u", and when I finally find my way back into the blinding light and look at what I've made I realize... it's been so long, my writing appears to me like a portrait of myself that I don't recognize.

Where are I? Where am you?

random, but

2009-03-31T23:59:33Z

After I finish college I'm going to audition for Fragdolls the next time they're recruiting.

It'd be a good way to get my foot into the game design industry... providing that I win.
But in two (or less?) years, one can get DAMN good at gaming with hard work.
As it is, I practice damn near every day. Let's see it happen.

today i had

2009-03-25T00:36:51Z

WAY
TOO
MUCH
COFFEE

P.S. I lost 4 lbs, yeeey
8===D~~~~~

Again.

2009-03-23T21:18:09Z

I felt like I was losing my mind last night. But I feel a little better today. After the things that unfolded, both literally and in my head, it's hard to think I'm fine but I really am. For now anyway, but that's what matters right? Maybe I'll find some answers by digging up that study on how very artistic people tend to be manic depressive or exhibit symptoms of it. They've made connections to it for hundreds of years now, it's pretty fascinating.

I redid my nails. They're like a dark royal purple/velvet color. Very pretty - and they've grown out too.

I lost two pounds, yey! Probably more, but that's what the scale told me with clothes on. Tonight I'm meeting my friend Ralph at the gym to work out. We're going three times this week. I'm excited.

My lactic acid peel came in the mail today. Kinda sucks that the weather is getting nice but I have to avoid sun like crazy while doing this peel. I also ordered a high quality webcam. Weird, it shipped BEFORE the peel, but is arriving AFTER. Heh, strange.

I'm addicted to the song "Butcher Pete"... it's catchy and has a subliminal message. What's better?

I haven't taken photos of my new hair because honestly my hair has been looking like shit lately - especially today. But I bought some...forgot what it's called but it's a super good black people hair product so it made my hair look nice again, and improved its health. I got a trim last time I got my hair done but it's still continuing to grow pretty quick, it's still past my shoulders. If I'm diligent I can get to brastrap/boob length by the end of the year. My hair grows pretty fast - it's just fragile and super high maintenance.

WHO'S EXCITED FOR HALO 3: ODST?! I AM.
Who's sexy. Yeah. Meeeeeeeeeeee.

hurhur

2009-03-20T23:38:41Z

So I dealt with this bitch parent today. She called to find out if her kid had showed up to school, because she got a call that she wasn’t homeroom. Both the girl and her homeroom teacher were at lunch so I had to find them both. Well she flew into a RAGE that I didn’t have instant answers, and started accusing me of beating around the bush, giving her misleading answers – then she began insulting me, asking about my education or if I spoke proper English. She probably thought she could get away with it because employees are always supposed to be nice to customers/parents, things of that sort. Nope – I hung up on her. And when she called back, in the middle of her bitchfest I transferred her to someone else. You play my way or you LOSE. I’m not dealing with it. Dumb cunt.

Saddest part… it was such predictable behavior, every single word. She was a black parent, which disappoints me because it seems that every other black parent that comes in here or calls is loud, ghetto, demanding, and all that… and it’s funny that she asks about MY education. If she had any herself, she’d know that it takes time to look up student records and find their whereabouts. I’m not bothered with it though, I just wish my people would quit being loud and ghetto and fulfilling their stereotype.

I still find it funny that I hung up on her, she called back for me, and I transferred her away in mid-sentence. Go cry to your baby's daddy, bitch. Oh right, he's probably nowhere to be found. ;]

UHHH.

2009-03-20T03:03:48Z

My car needs a LOT of repairs. Haha. Damn having an old ass car but it's sooo cute :[[ haha. Not much to say about recently, honestly. Work work work. Went to Hard Times with Chrissy. Meant to take photos, but just ended up drinking and pigging out of bacon cheese fries. I'm really fucking hungry right now but I have a rule, NO MEALS AFTER 9. Part of my plan to get in shape for her lingerie party.

Uh.

I dyed my hair almost black. You can't really tell here, but you can in person. It's nice.

And I thought this was kinda funny

MOVE, FUCKER

I'm still hungry.

Baby

2009-03-17T03:38:24Z

This weekend was basically...

- sex
- home cooking
- video games
- naps
- Style channel

...So, it was fucking awesome. We're so cute together aww.

P.S. My hair is black now.

Pictures coming later.

MOTIVATED YEAH.

2009-03-10T02:52:07Z

I danced for 30-45 minutes with ankle weights on, and ran another 45 or so minutes on the treadmill for 1.90, basically 2 miles... I took the ankle weights off halfway though so I could pick up speed without slamming down heavy feet on the treadmill. And now I'm lifting a 5 lb weight to start toning my arms up. I don't want typical gamer arms lacking muscle. I feel reaaally good. Then I made the most bomb ass lunch for work tomorrow... guacamole live (my version of the one from On The Border) and three homemade pizza bagel bites. HELL YEAH or as Stephen puts it, "BELLS YEAH!" lol

I really can't wait to fine tune my bikini body for spring and summer, but more importantly for Chrissy's lingerie party at the end of the month. There's also a lingerie contest at a local club going on buuuut I don't think I'll be quite ready. Baaaah I just forgot what else I was going to say. Whatever.

Josh's tomorrow. I should bring my 360 so we can play SH:H and so I can capture my footage from Halo and post online, but... later, later. Too much to think about right now. I'm going to sleep really well tonight. UMBC GAME NIGHT ON WEDNESDAY! I'M EXCITED AKFDJG;LFDA

and it's spring so I'm in heat

AAHHHHHHHHHH

P.S. Silent Hill; Homecoming is fucking good. I played for a few hours yesterday and didn't touch it today. I need a break so being on edge doesn't give me a damn heart attack. Tomorrow... at Josh's. I shall conquer my fear >_> like the good old days of playingSH4 and SCREAMING like sissies haha <3

PARTAYYYY

2009-03-08T14:49:15Z

It was one of Chad's so as usual, it got busted by the cops but they were pretty nice. It wasn't too crazy, wasn't too boring, and I got to see some old people I haven't seen in some time. No one I disliked showed up which gave it a nice touch... not that it would've mattered if they did. Usually if me and an enemy are in the same room, they're the one that ends up leaving. Heh. Anyway, onto the pictures!

Aleeeex, the creator of the Jungle Juice!

Rachel & Chad

I don't know any of these people haha. I just met them all that night.

"Dj, turn that music looouuuder, onegai boom clap, boom-bo-boom, clap"

WOOT

Chad, the "bartender"...

Me & Rashad, aka "Booty Meat"

There were a lot more people than this.

DEVIN!

HI I'M CHAD

So yeahhh... the night was pretty exciting, despite people trying to get me to dance and I did for all of like 10 seconds... and uhhh, well other events went on that I won't bother to publicize. All I have to say is, "Stay off taken territory." Don't push your luck, kid. You know what you're doing.

In other news...

I caved. I'll be starting this in an hour or so... after I finish updating and checking stuff online and get some breakfast. =3 I've been waiting for you, my sweet. And yes I'm going to play during the day so I don't get scared shitless.

WELL

2009-03-07T20:16:33Z

My dad's back. I missed him. He brought a lot of cool stuff from Trinidad, including an authentic slingshot, a cricket bat, some clothes and souvenirs, lots of pictures, and FOOOOD. Food from my culture is amazing. And no, those mock Caribbean shops in the area don't compare. The only places I deem worthy are Tony's )?) Roti Shop in MD and my aunt's shop in New York City. Everyone else... nice, but try harder!

Anyway. Today is really nice out, and I'd love to go for a bike ride with my new iPod instead of being stuck in the basement on the elliptical or treadmill... or even on the bowlfex... BUT OF ALL DAYS, I HAVE A FUCKING HEADACHE. I had it since last night. I was supposed to get up semi-early today and play Counterstrike Source with my boyfriend before his guild activities on Darkfall started at 3 but my head had this throbbing pain focused behind my left eye. AND, when I went back to sleep and woke up with it pretty much gone, lo and behold his CSS game is fucking up and not displaying text. kfdjgkdlfjg;a oh well. :[

My parents left to go to the park and I'm here by myself. I could either stay home and play video games, go to Chad's party in Crystal City, or... find something to do around Woodbridge. Blah. I think I'll go for an oil change later, put some air in my tires, get dolled up and roll up to Chad's place. I'm feeling kind of lazy to get up but I might as well go do something interesting. Plus, I won't have to play for drinks since I'm... well, let me not get full of myself, haha. OH HEY, I redid my Alliance picture. This isn't the one I submitted to Jinx for their Alliance T-shirt gallery BUT... it's the sexier one.

I feel sexy today despite my head feeling like Jabba the Hut took a massive dump on it! MOAR MOTRIN! And then lovely, lovely alcohol therapy!

P.S. My neighbors' kids are crazy. It is NOT warm enough for water fights yet. @___@ wtf

Thoughts.

2009-03-06T00:50:57Z

I have goals in so many different areas it's hard not to feel like I haven't kept up in all the areas, because every so often I just get this dragging-down feeling. I don't know what it is, and there are random triggers - music, certain songs, places, smells, items... it's like a feeling of non-specific nostalgia, except it's in no way pleasant. For Lent I vowed to give up negativity, and it's been going very well I might add... I'm doing pretty good just sucking it up and pushing through things, letting my negative opinions of folks just roll off my back if that person doesn't truly matter to me, just... moving forward in creating a better life for myself, and in that sense I'm doing better. It works wonders. My memory is improving, I'm like a fucking machine at work and lots of people are impressed with me, I'm more efficient in multi-tasking, organizing, getting things done on time... I don't know, I could list a bunch of things.

I guess what's bothering me is the lack of community I feel. I used to have a group of "friends", I'll call them... everyone knows that crashed and burned but the only thing that bugs me about that is that people were fake, and their goals were nonexistent. Where is everyone's drive to better themselves? Where is their ambition? The only people I've really ever had problems with are people who were fake and lied, or people who were too content in their present state to want to better themselves, take a look on the inside and realize rights and wrongs, use a little bit more brain power than is required to watch tv just to figure out some basics about a situation. I'm tired of running into stupid people who are irresponsible. I mean sure, call me "irresponsible." I party, I drink, I smoke once in a while, I used to get high pretty often, things like that... but I still grew. I'm not afraid to admit my mistakes, and that's where people fall. If you can't admit to your mistakes, how can you ever LEARN from them?

I'm not perfect. But I TRY to be. I'll get as close as possible. Am I really alone in this goal? Is it pointless? Am I taking a road that will single me out to being a wandering elitist? I'd love to say "no", but I'm afraid that's not the case. Will that stop me? No.

...But anyway, it's whatever - I keep trucking on, no matter what. I'm going after what I want and no one is going to stop me. I'm spoiled because I spoil myself and nothing, no one, is about to get in my way and "humble" me into giving that up, and for what? Oh pleaseee. I'm still excited for the future despite hardships. And you know what else I'm excited for?

SIR OBAMA'S STIMULUS CHECK.

Whether you voted for him or not, how can you NOT be excited? You're getting money for not doing SHIT. I for one plan to use that money in a responsible way... and by taking care of responsibilities, that leaves room for frivolous expenses, hahaha! I mean... that's what the check is FOR, anyway. If I'm not worried sick about money, I can spend more, which means boosting the economy!

In other news, I'm on chapter 3 of Eternal Sonata. It's still decently interesting. The character development is so-so, I really just live for the fights because I kick the shit out of mobs and bosses without a single character dropping dead. Then again, I can't really brag because Eternal Sonata isn't a hard game... now, FF4 is causing me a bit of a time. Old school games = harder to beat, general rule. I haven't played in 3 or so weeks because I've been focused on xbl and playing Halo 3 with Kevin, Brandon, Ken, and then other new friends I've made on there... but I'm still leveling and trying to beat this boss when Cecil and his group go back to the what do you call it castle - I'm leveling in the ancient waterway. The boss requires some strategy to beat, not just incessant pounding with attacks, and I think I've figured that out. I think I'll attempt it during my lunch break tomorrow at work. I'm slowly losing interest in WoW... actually quickly... since all my friends surpassed me during that time that my laptop was down. For the sake of leveling faster, I thought of switching my toons to a PVE server, returning to Arthas at 80, but the server is so fucking populated I may end up stuck on another server, having done all that for nothing. I just want to play with my friends. And since it seems NO ONE wants to run old 70 instances, I'm fucked. I'd have my boyfriend run me but he quit =P fag. He's all over this game called Darkfall now.

Well this has been quite a long entry so I'm going to wrap it up and go play something. WoW, Eternal Sonata, Halo 3, I don't know. I feel bad. Every time I get on I get like 5-6 requests to play and I have to just choose one because I hate leaving in the middle of a good streak of games. Sorry guys (if you're reading) we'll play soon!

My dad gets back from Trinidad tonight. As I write, he's flying from Houston TX to DC. YEY THE CAMERA RETURNS! And he comes bearing gifts... yesssss. Okay, okay, I said I'm going. BYE.

P.S.
I GOT AN IPOD NANO 8GB IN BLACK, WOOOO

Heyyy!

2009-02-25T23:31:57Z

Well, today is the first day of Lent. I've never celebrated it, and it's not a family thing at all... but this year I decided to try it. So what am I giving up? NEGATIVITY! That's right. My life has been so full of it over the past few years and it's about time that I make a conscious effort to rid myself of it. It's going to be hard not thinking the worst of people, dwelling on things, controlling my temper and trying to look at the bright side of things - but I know it'll be beneficial. Sooo... wish me luck. I'm terrible, I don't even know when Lent ends. *googles it*

In other news, I'm basically fulltime at my job now which means plenty of money coming in. I'm going to look into an alternative way to make money without actually having to hold a job, because I'll be back in school full-force this fall, possibly summer, and I most likely won't have time for work. And I don't have a choice - the economy is terrible and if I'm not in school full time I'll be dropped from my parents' insurance... and I don't really feel like taking that on myself.

I feel totally overwhelmed, video game-wise. I'm doing so many fucking things at the same time. On the 360 I'm playing Oblivion and Eternal Sonata, and playing Halo 3 about 3-4 hours every day, training for the tournament at Otakon. On PC I'm trying to perfect my skills in Counterstrike Source while trying desperately to catch up in WoW after my near two months without playing due to me frying my video card. I have two mains to get to level 80... shit. And then whenever I can sneak in time, I'm playing through FF4 on the DS. It's silly, to be overwhelmed with recreational things, because no one's forcing me into any of it... but still! It's all things I want to do and lately I've been fascinated with challenging myself to achieve goals. I don't know why! So yeah... haha. I'm overloaded with things to play, and there are still games I want to play like Fallout 3 which I torrented 2 days ago... and I still haven't touched it yet. GOD DAMMIT haha

♥

Overhaul.

2009-02-22T07:08:19Z

This weekend was an overhaul. Updating, cleaning, revamping, getting rid of old stuff, planning, things of that sort. I had other thoughts to write down but I'll keep them to myself for now. I'm content. I'm almost over this cold which is nice. If I don't wake up coughing up a lung in the morning I'll be really happy. After my colds end, I usually have an extremely bad cough the last two days of it. It sucks but at least I know the end is hear...

Ralph's moving soon. Gotta help him. And tomorrow is my last chance to see Kratos, if I'm up to it. That stupid cat... I'm going to miss him!

I feel old. I've been watching the Style channel all day, and at work the only magazines they have are like... Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and Woman's Day. Old woman shit! Or middle-aged woman, rather. I must admit though, Redbook isn't all that bad.

I need to mail out my video card on Monday. Bah.

My dad is out of the country until the 5th of March. I miss him, who else spoils me that much? No one! Except Kevin. =( Surprisingly my mom and I haven't clashed much, despite it being just the two of us here. It's really weird when one of my parents is gone for a while. It doesn't feel natural... at all. I realize I'm blessed to have a full family. Now if only my sister and I didn't want to kill each other 98% of the time.

Bedtime, I have a lot to think about and a lot to try not to overthink about, if that makes sense. Life... moving on, moving forward. I feel old, but the good kind of old.

LIKE SOLID SNAKE.

Katsucon goodies.

2009-02-18T05:22:54Z

This shirt is amazing and I wore it out today, hurhur

Yuuup :B

Fuck-me boots... ohhh yeah, and I got a good deal on it too.

Closeup, 4-5 inch heels. Dr. Scholls will be my best friend when I wear these out haha.

Corset from timeless-trends.com. It's really pretty and fits nicely... cuts off my breathing, that's awesome! I'm a size 20, smallest size they carry. Note: I'm not using this to cinch my waist, it's just an accessory guys... haha and a sexy one at that. Kevin loves this.

POWER BRICK LULZ!

KBYE. Sleep time, work tomorrow.

I'm a good daughter.

2009-02-18T03:26:31Z

My mom's blood pressure spiked again today at work, so she left and went to the doctor and won't be working the whole week. Kevin and I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, and I made a pot of tea, and drew a bubble bath with a lit candle and dimmed lights and a brand new loofah with spa soap at the side, and then I cut up oranges, kiwi, strawberries, and blueberries in a bowl and set it by the tub and coaxed her crazy ass out of going to the gym... and she came home for a nice surprise. She was so thrilled and happy, so much that she let me use her car n___________n kekeke. I also went to Olive Garden today to quench my fettucini alfredo craving. I baked brownies and made my version of guacamole live from On The Border... spent an unusual amount of time in the kitchen lately but I'm not so bad.

I'll post photos and a rundown from Katsucon when I have the time. I was busy with Kevin after Katsu, and I have a sore throat today and I work tomorrow. On the bright side, my new video card came in today and will be installed tomorrow by the mighty Spencer. Man I need a fancy toolkit like his. Laptops are so much harder to do shit with than desktops. Can't wait to get mine.

kdfjgkdlgakdf
*cough*

LOL

2009-02-10T21:17:58Z

So my friend John texted me about making out with this girl even though he has a girlfriend
I was at work and it was really busy so I texted him back about it after work
I guess he was with his girlfriend... because she replied back

LOLOL OOPS

I'm selling this shit!

2009-02-07T00:38:22Z

I'm getting rid of shit I don't need/want and I want YOU... to buy it.

I know it's hard to see. It's Eyeore.

This basically teaches you EVERYTHING you need to know about Word, Excel, Powerpoint, Access, etc.

I emphasized the fact that the black has about 1/6 of it used... the rest of the colors are virtually untouched and like new.

ZOMG IT'S ALL IN JAPANEEEEEZE OTAKU ANIME DESU SUSHI NEKO buy it

These are unopened, still in the plastic! And this shit is old... lucky to find it anywhere else.

Yep.